Today, I heard a conversation about commitment that stirred something deep within me that unexpectedly made me feel quite sad. A short time later, what emerged hit me like a ton of bricks when it occurred to me that I hadn't ever really come to know the full color spectrum of what commitment was and what it meant to my soul. I realized that, for the most part, that I equated commitment to essentially mean fidelity and faithfulness in terms of the physical. I was dumbfounded and shocked by my very narrow vision of this often over - used and under-appreciated word and knew then and there I was being given a Divine blessing of clarity and enlightenment.
In my mind -mind being key here, I understood commitment to be more than "being true" and what would constitute emotional commitment, but today it revealed itself in a very different way. It wasn't dressed up in romantic flair or steeped in learned societal beliefs about what I was taught it should be. It presented itself in a simple, down to the bone clarity that stretched far beyond the horizons of what I ever allowed myself to feel or acknowledge about it. It was a pivotal moment in time that one could say the blinders came off and a new perspective was birthed.
It was as though it suddenly became more than a word. It took on an energy of action that sliced through my old belief about what it was and wasn't. And for the very first time; It felt sacred and holy deep within me... and not something outside of me. This profound revelation of wisdom from Source came pouring in and flooding every part of my beingness with Divine truth about commitment and its sacredness in my life.Within a nano second of time, I found myself overwhelmed with the raw emotion of enlightenment where there was once blinding ignorance. The love of God, Great Spirit was touching my soul and the tears fell, the emotions exploded as I realized, I never had known Sacred Commitment as my Creator was teaching me in that profound moment.
Soon thereafter I heard an inner voice ask, "where are you in commitment to yourself?" Immediately, I felt guilt, shame and a strong resistance to answer because it felt selfish, on some not so conscious level, to even consider that question given my Catholic roots of long ago. With that said, my heart's tears fell even harder as a piercing surge of anger and deep raging resentment shot through me as I unburdened myself of all the years of anguish I had denied and pushed down that centered around commitment and what it was and what it meant in my life to date. And with another deep breath, the tide had turned and the tears stopped, and with that came a cavernous sense of serenity and calm that washed over me like warm soothing water. It was as though I was feeling in my body the meaning of commitment in a way extremely foreign to me. The only way I can describe it is that it felt akin to when we first experience the genuine spirit of Christmas divorced from commercialism.
From that experience two profound, crystal clear epiphanies surfaced:
commitment is more than a general notion or word, it is a living and breathing energy that demands emotional nourishment
the "I" that is "me", matters as much as the "we" in Sacred Commitment.
Commitment is a Divine energy that requires residency in our own hearts for ourselves before we can share its splendor and sacredness with another human being. What does that mean? It means we first must commit with love in heart to:
Our own wholeness in mind, body and spirit
Our continued growth and transformation
Showing up for ourselves
Holding ourselves in esteem and reverence because we are a child of the Great I AM and are DESERVING
Providing ourselves an "umbrella" when life rains down on us
Nurturing the seeds of our becoming
Being our best self from the inside out
Honoring our emotional, physical and spiritual needs
Being our own best friend
Our dreams and making them a reality
Knowing ourselves and our inner landscape like no other can
Cultivating the gifts our Creator gave us to their fullest potential
Having healthy boundaries that say I matter as much as you
Loving and accepting ourselves without condition for who and what we are with all our imperfections and shadows
The Source of the Great I AM that is us
Being respectful, kind and truthful with ourselves
NEVER sell ourselves out to the highest bidder
Never forfeiting our truth and our light
American Indian Wisdom teaches that our first Teacher is our own Heart and the same holds true of commitment. We must first come to know, feel and understand what commitment is within ourselves toward ourselves before we can make and share a sacred commitment with another soul.
Pledging loyalty and faithfulness to ourselves first and foremost may at first seem selfish, when in actuality, it is very much the opposite; It is selflessness in its purest form. Committing to oneself in the truest sense of the word is committing to the Divine within us. It sculpts, molds and polishes us to become our best self, our whole self free of the need to use others and things to fill our empty spaces and voids that come about from having no committed relationship to our own divinity. In traversing the peaks and valleys of commitment to oneself we are no longer selfishly taking and expecting, consciously or unconsciously from another, what we should be providing ourselves. Commitment to "thyself" teaches how to hold yourself in sacredness and reverence and while at the same time prepares and teaches you how to hold another in that very same consecrated space.