Knock Knock. Who's There? N-O-T-H-I-N-G
Often times in life we find ourselves asking the very human question - what is missing from my life? The plaguing question knocks at the door of our heart and gets louder the longer we ignore it until ultimately it forces our hand one way or another and we must open the door and surrender to the scary nothingness we've crossed oceans to avoid.
Well, the big "until" recently made its grand entrance into my brother Sean's life in the form of Burkitt Lymphoma. His cancer, being one of the most aggressive forms in existence and one that requires extremely aggressive treatment, is without doubt, proving to be the catalyst ushering in the light of astute awareness to what is wanting to be called forth in his life.
In the many conversations I've had with him since his diagnosis as well as having the privilege to be an up close witness to his very sacred process, one thing is becoming crystal clear - looking from the outside in - cancer demands a relationship with NOTHINGNESS and empties one's life of all unnecessary s- - - - like a mega dose of Ex-Lax would do to the large intestine - swift and unrelenting evacuation of EVERYTHING from one's life! The nothingness that cancer brings into being, as evident with my brother, unveils the big elephant that's been standing in the room for far too long that now demands to be seen.
Despite the brutally raw, nothingness that is his life right now, not to mention how the cancer has not only ravaged his body, but also stripped his life of every thread of normalcy and safety he had ever known, I'm beginning to notice how the deep void of living in the nothing zone is slowly paving the way to what resembles a spiritual ascension toward peace and wholeness with no missing anything!
As I continue to watch his life unfold as a person healing from cancer, I often wonder if the state of nothingness will prove to be his saving grace for giving him back an authentic life - a life more in line with his soul's truth?
From the the time I watched the first drip of the amber-colored Divine liquid Light slowly make its way into my brother's body to save his life, I wondered if the cancer was simply a biological process or an instrument of change used by our Creator to transform, reshape and remodel his life directly - along with the lives of those around him? His journey with cancer has filled my mind to the brim with life questions that I realize only time will tell but ones that I believe could serve a higher purpose for all of us if given serious consideration. My A-list questions are:
Can the great something we all endlessly pursue outside ourselves - to quiet the desperate longing in our souls - be unearthed in the inward nothingness that life altering hardship brings?
Do we contribute to our own misery and prolong our suffering by dismissing and avoiding the knock that we hear because we fear it will reveal the painful nothingness that is our lives?
Can the state and feeling of nothingness actually be an incorporeal guidepost leading us to the answers to fix our broken lives?
In our mad quest to avoid, deny and suppress the nagging emptiness of our souls we stuff our lives with everything outside of ourselves with the intention of making the boogie man of nothingness and emptiness go away. In doing this, we have to know on some emotional level that we are missing the boat for a more purposeful life! The MONUMENTAL question here that we desperately need to address is why?
From filling our lives with the HUGE distraction of social media to building a fortress ofmaterial possessions to enslave us and use as a tool to profess our worth to the world, we've become master Houdinies of escape from our own lives! To add to this craziness, we use our means of earning an income and titles as a form of validation and escape from our pervasive emptiness, and give more thought to what we will eat for dinner than what is creating this vast void within! To top if off, we then act perplexed as to why sickness visits our doorstep and our lives a flop of a mess. For many of us, we claim there is no time for silent reflection and solitude but somehow we manage to find plenty of time to get on Facebook or watch countless hours of mindless TV to muzzle the voice within. Now, with that said, let me add a challenge here for those of us that honestly believe we don't use the boob tube or social media as a distraction to avoid the truth of our lives. On the next free day you have - or weekend if you really want to reveal what's your reality - try living without any social media engagement or TV for the entire time and see how you do! I'll guarantee you there will be some surprises in store for you and the nothingness that has been snuffed out wherever in your life will come a callin and say hello!
The truth of the matter is, whether it be forced or invited into our lives with open arms, all of us have a date with the Pied Piper of nothingness and we will either choose to answer the knock or wait UNTIL it knock us over the head in an unexpected life changing way not of our own choosing. We need to be mindful that There is an alternative offered to us by the Divine Spirit living within that is free of emptiness and nothingness and rich with sacred purpose and meaning if we are willing and brave enough to shout a resounding yes to ourselves and our lives by gifting ourselves time alone with just us and the One that walks through all feet. The benefit to be had by answering the "knock" is a divinely ordained opportunity to become the best and most true version of yourself to not only make this world a better place for all humanity, but also to find your heaven on earth...
Thank you Sean, my brother and true friend, for being my Sage and teacher of what it means to be truly courageous. Your life matters...